Where I never thought I'd end up...

Well, I now sit where I never thought I would end up. In the mental health ward of a hospital. After too many medication trials, too much money spent on psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists, my last ditch effort to quell the "Ðebilitating Ðisorder", I voluntarily admitted myself into the local mental hospital for help.

I have seen my lovely wife work too many hard hours. Seen her cry once too many times over the stresses of my lack of ability to help her with anything outside of the home. Unnecessarily argued with her because I am sickeningly fed up with being fearful to leave the confines of my home. It is time to face the music.

I sit here alone, staring out the window between sentences typed, wondering, hoping, praying that something, someone says or does during my stay here will help me get this damned monster off my back. I do however, genuinely think that "someone" MUST be me. I control my thoughts. I control my mind. It is I who must kill those thoughts the instant they materialize. This is what I will be working on incessesantly while I am here. This is my chance to have a clear head, a clear focus on what will cure me. This will work.

And lastly, on a humorous note... It is official. I am a loon. And contrary to popular belief, I didn't even have to shave my head to wind up in the Looney Bin! (*cough* Britney Spears *cough*) hehe laugh darnit, it was funny, and you know it.

Peace ya'll,

Ð